An Effective Letter of Complaint

ropeComplaint letters are one of my specialties at Beaumont Hardy. I have written many successful complaint letters for people unhappy with various different services or companies. I would be happy to write a letter for your particular complaint. Send me the details, and I will write you a powerful, effective complaint.

The following is a passenger’s unedited complaint letter to an airline, after an egregious loss of luggage. Below the unedited version is my edit of the same text. My editorial comments are at the bottom of this post.

Dear Customer Service Representative:

Last week, I flew from Seattle to Kansas City and from Kansas City to Boston. My connection at Kansas City was close, so I think my luggage did not make it onto the same plane that I did. It was my fault for making the reservation, so I don’t mind that my luggage didn’t arrive in Boston when I did. In the end, my luggage never arrived in Boston. Someone from your airline just called to tell me that my luggage is completely lost and that you will only pay me $150 for my loss. My belongings were worth more than that, so I think you should pay me the amount that they’re actually worth.

My main complaint is that I think your airline was really careless in handling my luggage. I understand that it didn’t make the connection from Kansas City, that was my fault. But what gets me is the part that happened next.

Someone called me from your airline after I arrived in Boston and told me that they had found my luggage, it came on the next flight after mine. I said that was great and they told me they would deliver my luggage to me right then. Well, three hours later, they called and told me that the delivery person had lost my luggage. They said it fell out of his truck, and he couldn’t find it. First of all, I find that hard to believe, but I also think that even if it’s true, the airline people are careless. I am shocked that your airline is so irresponsible.

I trusted you with my bag and you were responsible for it. I know it was my fault that my bag didn’t make it onto my flight from Kansas City, but you were responsible for my bag once you found it and put it on the delivery truck.

It’s not my fault that my luggage fell onto the street, so I think you should pay me for the full value of my things.

The final edited letter reads as follows:

Dear Customer Service Representative:

I just had a terrible experience with your airline and am shocked that your company is so irresponsible about passenger luggage.

Last week, I flew from Seattle to Boston, with a layover in Kansas City. Because of poor planning on my part, my connection at Kansas City was too close; my luggage did not make it onto my flight to Boston. After I arrived in Boston, a representative of your airline called to tell me that my luggage had arrived on the later flight. Your representative said that the airline would deliver my luggage immediately. I was very pleased.

However, my pleasure was short-lived because of what happened next. Three hours after the first telephone call, a representative of your airline called to tell me that my luggage had been completely lost. According to this representative, an airline delivery person put my luggage on a truck and started to deliver it to me at home. Apparently, my luggage fell off the delivery truck, and the delivery person was unable to find it on the street.

I find this story very difficult to believe, but more importantly, I believe your company has been extremely careless. I trusted you with my bag, and you were responsible for it.

Your airline has offered to pay me only $150 for my loss. My belongings were worth more than that, and I think you should pay me the amount that they are actually worth.

What follows is the letter with its editing marks. My comments to the author are in brackets and italicized. The portions I cut appear with a strike-through, and the portions I added are underlined. (In a normal Word document with “Track Changes,” my editing marks are in red, and my comments are in their own separate section, not inserted into the text.)

I just had a terrible experience with your airline and am shocked that your company is so irresponsible about passenger luggage. [This loss of luggage is so shocking that I think your letter needs a stronger opening sentence.]

Last week, I flew from Seattle to Boston, with a layover in Kansas City. and from Kansas City to Boston. Because of poor planning on my part, mMy connection at Kansas City was too close,; so I think my luggage did not make it onto my flight to Boston. the same plane that I did. It was my fault for making the reservation, so I don’t mind that my luggage didn’t arrive in Boston when I did. In the end, my luggage never arrived in Boston.[Although you may have been at fault in planning your flight, I think it’s best to focus on the fault of the airline.] After I arrived in Boston, a representative of your airline called to tell me that my luggage had arrived on the later flight. Your representative said that the airline would deliver my luggage immediately. I was very pleased.

However, my pleasure was short-lived because of what happened next. Three hours after the first telephone call, a representative of Someone from your airline just called to tell me that my luggage is had been completely lost. According to this representative, an airline delivery person put my luggage on a truck and started to deliver it to me at home. [I assume the delivery was going to your home.] Apparently, my luggage fell off the delivery truck, and the delivery person was unable to find it on the street.

I find this story very difficult to believe, but more importantly, I believe your company has been extremely careless. I trusted you with my bag, and you were responsible for it.

Your airline has offered to and that you will only pay me only $150 for my loss. My belongings were worth more than that, so I think you should pay me the amount that they are’re actually worth.

My main complaint is that I think your airline was really careless in handling my luggage. I understand that it didn’t make the connection from Kansas City, that was my fault. But what gets me is the part that happened next.

Someone called me from your airline after I arrived in Boston and told me that they had found my luggage, it came on the next flight after mine. I said that was great and they told me they would deliver my luggage to me right then. Well, three hours later, they called and told me that the delivery person had lost my luggage. They said it fell out of his truck, and he couldn’t find it. First of all, I find that hard to believe, but I also think that even if it’s true, the airline people are careless. I am shocked that your airline is so irresponsible.

I trusted you with my bag and you were responsible for it. I know it was my fault that my bag didn’t make it onto my flight from Kansas City, but you were responsible for my bag once you found it and put it on the delivery truck.

It’s not my fault that my luggage fell onto the street, so I think you should pay me for the full value of my things.

[Please post your comments about this Sample Edit. To submit your own work for a free edit–and inclusion in a posting on this blog–please write to me at jane@beaumonthardy.com.]

Tags: ,

Leave a Reply